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Jedi Christmas Display Placed in Seattle City Hall
Virgin birth baby Anakin surrounded by the three wise men Religious tolerance mandates all Seattle religions be reprsented during holiday season (City Hall) Seattle has announced the addition of a new...
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Un-Photoshopped Lindsey Lohan Playboy Pictures (NSFW)
Through our tireless intrepid investigative journalism, the Seattle Salmon got its hands on a few un-photoshopped images from Lindsey Lohan’s upcoming Playboy spread. While the final product may end up...
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Mr. Potter Reviews “It’s a Wonderful Life”
Many local theaters are showing “It’s a Wonderful Life,” this time of year. The Salmon, shockingly, found Mr. Potter alive and bitter in a home for aging fascists. We asked him to review the film...
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A 2011 Greatest Hit!-Megachurch Mars Hill Developing Gay Pee Test
Holy urinal puck. “The science is there…” When the pastors of the Reformed Christian megachurch–the Mars Hill Church–established venues of worship in edgy Seattle neighborhoods that were known to be...
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A 2011 Greatest Flop-Dan Savage Storming Last Gay Frontier: Heaven
Dan Savage takes on the last gay frontier. Heaven–Seattle’s Dan Savage was canonized as the patron saint of Northwest gays many years ago for his advocacy of LGBT issues and the inspiring additions of...
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A 2011 Greatest Flop-Research Proves Women Date Men Based on “Least Stupid”...
Happy couple pose for the camera. Same research proves men use system based on “Least Crazy” UW-Psychology Professor Janet M. Woolbright today broke the secret code of relationships with the publishing...
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North Seattle Man’s Overgrown Yard Due to 2012 Mayan Apocalypse
Lake City – Despite years of neighborhood grumbling, North Seattle resident Frank Stefano’s yard still languishes in a dilapidated state akin to the Manson Family compound. Mr. Stefano explained that...
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Jesus Shows Off New Bieber Tattoo
(Pearly Gates) Jesus H. Christ was flattered last week when teen pop sensation Justin Bieber gave him a ink stained shout out in the form of a Jesus tattoo on his calf. Today he finally returned the...
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Mars Hill Marriage Book Shows Slavery’s Softer Side
Co-written by Pastor Mark Driscoll and wife Grace (that means she typed it) The “Mars Hill Guide to Multiple Orgasms,” hit the market this week, the first Sex and Marriage book by Seattle Megachurch...
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2012: The Year of the Fucking DRAGON
Dragon is at the top of the Zodiac Peking Order For over a decade billions of Asians have been going through the motions, celebrating Chinese New Year as if it meant something. They have put on a...
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Top 10 reasons Amanda Knox won’t be returning to Italy for trial
Without further blib-blab, here is the list of the top ten reasons Amanda Knox won’t be returning to Italy for her murder trial. Italian food makes her homicidal. Had to stay for the Breaking Bad...
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